Saturday, January 15, 2011

Fallout: New Vegas: The Shakezy Chronicles - Part 2: My Legs!

Welcome to Part 2 of my ongoing series of New Vegas: The Shakezy Chronicles!

When we last left our hero he had just finished taking his first few steps after being brought back to life by the kindly Doc Mitchell.

Doc got me on my feet, gave me a few essential supplies, and herded me towards the door. Among the things Doc gave me were an ugly Vault suit (think grown man space onesey), and a Pip-Boy armband.

The Pip-Boy keeps a detailed tab on my inventory and vital statistics. More importantly, my Pip-Boy allows me to enter VATS mode, wherein I can be much more effective and strategic in combat situations. But more on that later.

Before Doc could get me out of the door, I stalled and asked if I could use the bathroom. Being the kindly gent that he is, he nodded in assent. Doc walked back into his sitting room, to sit some more I guess, and was soon out of sight.

Now ever since I woke up I had this nagging feeling that the entire fate of New Vegas lay with me. Technically, I didn't have much reason to think this, being only a courier who's last job was only slightly fishy, but the feeling was there nonetheless. So, being a hero out to save the known world I knew what I had to do: Steal everything in sight. I relieved Doc of some nicer civilian clothes, a bunch of medical supplies, some guns, some ammo, and all the food in his pantry. I thanked Doc before heading out the door.

Ah, the town of Goodsprings proper. Goodsprings feels kind of run down, and kind of boring in that peaceful small town kind of way. First things first, I made my way to the local watering hole to see what's up.

Being the giant beautiful cliche that it is, Goodsprings seems to be under attack by a bandit gang known as the Powder Gangers. The Powder Gangers, to their credit, don't actually want to harass the town that much, and are really just trying to get to some other criminal who is hiding out somewhere in the town. Unfortunately for them, they are the closest thing to a bad guy in this situation, and I'm a hero with an itchy trigger finger.

So I go find the jerk they are looking for. It wasn't hard, every person in the town gives up the information to me, a stranger, for no apparent reason. I guess they don't like him much either. Anyways, I find him and tell him that I'll help fight the Powder Gangers. But first he says I'll need help from the community.

I easily convince the majority of the community to help me. The crazy lady who had earlier given me a rifle for no reason jumped at the chance. The bar owner agreed to help after I fixed her radio and smooth talked her a bit. How much help a bar owner could be, I have no idea, but the criminal wanted her aid so I got it. I also enlisted the Doc to be acting medic and convinced a local shopkeep to give us all a bunch of leather armor.

I'm a really good talker.

The only holdout was a surly old prospector who refused to give us the aid of his dynamite because we didn't have the knowhow enough to use it without hurting ourselves. As a way of demonstrating just how much know I how, I planted a lit piece of dynamite in the old coot's back pocket. Turns out he was right: When the stick went off I got slightly burned on my arm. I decided to respect his wishes and not use any more dynamite for the remainder of the mission.

Then the time came for the big fight to start. The good people of Goodsprings all waited in ambush while the Powder Gangers came down the road to discuss the prisoner again with us. Suddenly, a righteous fury swelled within me, and I knew I couldn't just sit there. I gave a battle cry and jumped out of my position, firing my rifle blindly towards the baddies in the road along the way.

Within two seconds I was hit by five slugs out of various weapons. The shots didn't pierce my armor and get to my vitals, but they did send me sprawling to the ground.

Around me it was chaos. Goodsprings settlers firing in an organized line, Powder Gangers taking up positions as best they could behind rocks and shrubs, and me in the middle.

The battle was over before I got back to my feet. The citizens of Goodsprings cleaned out the 'Gangers, and I was left with nothing but an empty gun. I consulted my Pip-Boy and it turns out I didn't even get any damn experience (whatever that is), since I didn't deliver any killing blows (or many blows of the non-lethal kind, for that matter).

Demoralized, I decided that Goodsprings wasn't the place for me anymore. Like Bruce Banner, it was time to start on down the road; wind at my back, a couple people who kind of like me being sort of sad to see me go.

The road was weird.

But I knew I had to keep going, had to get to Primm. At about that time a strange beeping noise interrupted my flowing inner monologue. I looked down only to see a flashing red light buried in the dirt under my feet. A landmine! I braced myself for the impact, but the explosion still toppled me over.

It was then when I learned a most valuable lesson about landmines: They hurt like crap! When I came to I noticed that my legs had fallen off at the knees.

I felt a little stupid having to come back to the town of Goodsprings so soon after my dramatic exit, but my hamburgerized legs demanded it. I crawled my way back to Doc's place and he patched me up. For a fee this time...

The wasteland is a harsh mistress.

Stay tuned for the next installment when Shakezy cleans up the town of Primm, and repeatedly gets his legs blown off by pesky Powder Gangers and their pesky dynamite and landmines.

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